If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
