oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you mean i was at the winter classic?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
