thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
