Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize