you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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