Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
