Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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