She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
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i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
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Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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