It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
