You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
