i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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