My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
