My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
