someone get that fucking seahorse.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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