I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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