Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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