I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
