I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
home. puking in laundry basket.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
