I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
