Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
