Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
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