i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
