I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
