The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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