Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
