I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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