She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
