I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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