It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
