nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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