Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
