i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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