Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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