Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
