Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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