so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
