I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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