I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize