Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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