if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize