i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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