I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
