I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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