Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
