Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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