Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
