dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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