The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
