and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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