I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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