I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize