I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
