Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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