somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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