You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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