Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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