You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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