This gyro tastes like lonliness
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
