Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
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I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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