Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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