Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
